What the hell does “going inwards”’ mean?

I say this a lot in therapy. “Take some time, go inwards, listen to yourself….” Sounds a little intangible, vague and like new-age hippy shit, doesn’t it?

I only know how to describe this because I do this practice as much as I can for myself. Gurus, philosophers and modern day figures, like Glennon Doyle, all have their own way of describing this. The Stillness, Inner Knowing, Spirit, etc.

But in therapeutic and introspection contexts, it is one of the core pillars to all recovery and self-reconnection. In our modern day and trauma tainted lives, we have become so accustomed to tuning our true selves out. Other times, we have had to, like in response to trauma or crises - we may have frozen, disassociated or numbed. And sometimes we are conditioned to. Sometimes we are pressured to. We listen to peers, society, media above ourselves.

There is no greater way to find out who you are and what you are all about by spending time with yourself and your inner world. No-one else, no matter how expert or intuitive or mentor-y they are, can tell you who you are and what you want or need. Impossible.

If you were to spend 5 minutes each day, taking a genuine inquiry into the heart, mind and soul of yourself, I wonder what you would find? This is often one of the confronting and scary things that people avoid doing… we’re afraid of what we might find or feel. Feelings or thoughts we’ve had an inkling about for years but denied. Feelings or thoughts that may lead to making big changes in our lives. Regardless, if spending intentional, non-judgemental, curious, quiet time going inwards with ourselves is frightening or overwhelming in anyway, we are much more likely to avoid that at all costs by keeping busy and distracted with food, substances, people, work, shopping, sex, etc,

But we cannot outrun ourselves.

Brene Brown says "Hold your shadow in front of you. It can only take you down from behind."

If we slowly and respectfully start to befriend ourselves, spend quiet, intentional time with ourselves, we begin to attune to our own inner voice, feelings and somatic (bodily / felt) sensations. And THIS means that we can connect with what we think, feel, want, need and desire in more and more authentic ways.

If we that we have strayed too far into group mentality, people pleasing or old patterns of over compromising, then this daily practice is for you. Keep this connection to yourself at all costs, and it’s the cheapest, most effective investment you will ever make.

We won’t always get it right, but we will get it real. The more we practice pausing, listening, sensing and expressing (just like when we stop and look both ways before crossing a road), the stronger our secure sense of self will be and the faster our response times to all of life choices and challenges, big and small.

Enjoy going inwards. You can do this.