The Dirty Word Series #2: Ambition.

Ambition is generally understood as a strong desire and determination to achieve something. Commonly our social structures have acquisitioned it to imply being related to careers and other markers of ‘success’ like wealth or education status, business accumulation or power. The undertone has also been linked with ego, selfishness and negativity. Notice your initial reaction to this taboo word. It was already being judged.

Rare is the conversation that incorporates a wider lens and shifts the focus to include ambition for things like connection, relationships, stability,

Now here’s a controversial thought… what if ambition could incorporate both ends of the spectrum of meaning and focus?

Traditionally, it has been considered a very masculine trait, and that ambitious women wore power suits, had no expressed emotion, sacrificed home and family and had to be as arrogant and heartless as their male counterparts in workplaces. Again, here we see lens and bias of workplace and gender spheres. It’s well overdue for us all to start broadening these concepts and taboos.

Many of our cultures and social structures also encourage and teach us to try out best, reach for the stars, set and kick goals. And look, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have goals, achievements, a feeling of mastery or triumph. Or of wanting to have ambition. So number 1: It is not a gendered word, or we have to stop treating it as such. Number 2: encouraging ambition does not automatically create heartless, corporate ladder climbing bullies. Ambitious people can be (and often are) still kindhearted, thoughtful and well considered people. In fact, arguably, the most successful ambitious people have used their relational and social intelligence and insight to add nuance and depth to their strategies and goals. I can almost hear the counter arguments saying that that could be misconstrued as calculating or malicious. Sure, for those with such intent, it might be. But it is also a simple fact of life that movement and progress almost inevitably involves people along the way at some point. So if you have ambition as a quality or goal, then you may as well learn how to handle people too, because you’re going to need to. Number 3: womxn need to stop undervaluing ambition for themselves too. This one takes a bit of practice and unlearning the conditioning.

What if we had more children and adults including the trait and language of ambition into daily life more? What if we normalised it and leaned into it? I wonder what impact we would see on their self confidence? Their relationships and connections? Their outcomes?

I’m not saying this doesn’t need some fine tuning and balance, not at all. There is still a risk of people tipping too far into addiction to results and perfectionism etc. So like with all re-training of taboo words and character traits, it requires practice, balance, self-reflection and care.

So what are you waiting for? Get amongst some ambition, if you want to, and break through any remaining glass ceilings in any area of your life should that be in your hearts’ desire. Not saying it’s easy, or that we all start off on equal footing for this. And many contributing factors determine a persons’ capacity, willingness or ability to even consider, let alone undertake something like ambition. But consider this:

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs.