Your Mindset Quiz Results!

Overview

You want to help everyone, all the time, but that desire to be there for others comes at the expense of your own well-being. You feel guilty about setting boundaries, thinking it’s selfish or harmful. While your compassion is admirable, constantly giving at the expense of yourself will lead to burnout. It's time to balance your care for others with a focus on self-care to avoid sacrificing yourself.

First

Importantly, continue exploring your results and strategies below with a level of empathy, self compassion and non-judgement - as much as you can muster. From that place, digest these reflections, take what’s suitable for you, and know that you’re not alone and we’re here to support you to THRIVE. We’ll help you explore and understand how you got here and why this mindset barrier has become so engrained.

We know this is you, at least for the most part. Of course there’s going to be exceptions to the rule and times when you’re not responding from underlying guilt-driven caregiver urges, mindsets and early childhood templates. We hear you. It’s not all black and white, nor are you fixed in stone. We all have areas to work on. Especially if we’re interested in maintaining our career fulfilment and longevity, nourishing and connected relationships in personal and professional settings, and see clients through to healthy, safe outcomes through our work together.

Breaking through the Guilt-Driven Caregiver mindset and mastering healthy boundaries can be difficult, especially for health and helping professionals who deeply care about their clients' well-being. This mindset often stems from the fear of letting others down or feeling guilty when prioritizing one's own needs. However, learning to balance compassion for others with self-compassion is crucial to avoid burnout and maintain a healthy, sustainable practice. Below are some tips and tools to help you overcome this boundary block and start to get more agency and control over your choices, and ultimately have a more rich and rewarding career.

Actionable Strategies to Unblock your Mindset Barrier and Create Healthier Boundaries!

Here are some initial actionable steps that you can implement right now to help reduce Guilt-Driven Caregiving in your personal and professional relationships:

⭐1. Recognize and Reframe the Guilt

Tip: Understand that your guilt is a natural emotional response, but it’s not a healthy motivator. Guilt can stem from thinking that you must always put others’ needs ahead of your own, but this is not sustainable or beneficial in the long run. Reframe your guilt by acknowledging that setting boundaries is necessary for your well-being, that of your clients, many more clients to come, and the longevity of your career.

Tool: Cognitive Reframing Practice – When you feel guilty for setting a boundary, reframe the thought: Instead of thinking, “I feel guilty for not helping this person immediately,” try, “By setting this boundary, I am ensuring that I can help my clients in a more sustainable, effective way in the future.”

⭐2. Understand the Importance of Self-Care

Tip: Prioritizing your own self-care is not a selfish act. In fact, it’s essential for being an effective caregiver. When you consistently care for yourself, you have more energy, empathy, and capacity to assist others. Recognize that you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Tool: Self-Care Assessment – Take some time to assess your current self-care practices. Are you getting enough rest, movement, play, social and personal time? Consider the Wellbeing Wheel for various domains as you do this. Write down one self-care activity you can implement every week, like taking a 30-minute walk or setting aside time for a relaxing hobby.

⭐3. Set Clear and Compassionate Boundaries

Tip: Set boundaries in a way that respects both your needs and your clients' needs. Compassionate boundary-setting means balancing empathy with practicality. When you set boundaries, communicate them clearly and gently, understanding that they are not a reflection of your care for the person, but rather your need for balance, self-care and sustainability in the long term. Think about this: Have you ever saved for something? It’s about temporary short term pain, for longer term reward or gain. Expressing something that feels hard in the moment, is like saving - you are making small, regular deposits into the long term bank of health, energy, balance, passion and fulfilment.

Tool: Boundary Statement Templates – Create simple, kind phrases that suit your style, that you can use to set boundaries with clients. For example:

• “I understand that you need my help, but I have a commitment to my well-being too, so I can’t respond outside of office hours.” 

• “I’m so glad you value my time, but I need to also focus on a variety of other commitments, and I will be available during our next scheduled time.”

⭐ 4. Shift from People-Pleasing to People-Caring

Tip: Understand that people-pleasing is not the same as people-caring. People-pleasing often involves sacrificing your own well-being to avoid discomfort or guilt. On the other hand, people-caring involves acting with empathy and concern for others while still respecting and honouring your limits. Let go of the need to be all things to everyone. We will lovingly pop your bubble - it is simply not possible, and ends up serving no-one in the long run.

Tool: Values-Based Decision-Making – Reflect on your core values (such as compassion, integrity, and balance) and use them as your guide when making decisions about setting boundaries. When you feel guilt creeping in, ask yourself, “Does saying yes align with my values? Will saying yes support my long-term ability to continue to support others?”

⭐ 5. Acknowledge and Manage the Fear of Disappointing Others

Tip: Ooft! This one’s a doozy! A major part of the guilt-driven caregiver’s mindset is the fear of disappointing clients, colleagues, staff or partners. However, setting boundaries in a healthy way often leads to pleasantly surprisingly more respect and trust from others, as it teaches them to respect your time and energy. They get to realise that you are safe, stable, consistent and grounded in your ‘yes’s and your ‘no’s. And as you know, these are some of the main pillars of trauma-informed work and building lasting, secure-attachment bonds and relationships. Recognize that your boundaries are ultimately for their benefit as well as yours.

Tool: Boundary Visualization Exercise– Before setting a boundary, visualize the positive impact that your boundary will have on your relationship with the client, staff member or family member. Imagine them respecting your decision and appreciating your professionalism. If you can, and want to embed this even further, bring a somatic practice to it for another few moments. Focus on locating the sensations in your body that accompany this visualisation. Notice how it makes you feel, what your body might like to do (eg. push chest out, stretch, stretch up a bit taller, smile, breathe out a big sigh). This visualization can help ease the fear of disappointing others.

⭐ 6. Learn to Say "No" with Compassion

Tip: Saying "no" is difficult for those with a guilt-driven mindset, but it’s critical for preserving your finite energy, focus and internal resources. Practice saying “no” firmly but kindly. A key element here is that you do not need to over-explain or justify your decisions. Simply stating your boundaries respectfully can be enough. Normalising this for those around you works - it’s like training people in how to have a relationship / interaction with you. It will get easier over time with more practice. So don’t be afraid to start small - the important thing is just to start.

Tool: Compassionate “No” Script– Create a set of responses that allow you to say no without feeling guilty - or at least a bit less for now. For example:

• “I understand that this is urgent for you, but I am unable to accommodate this request at this time. Let’s look at scheduling a time to get back to this that works for both of us. ”

• “Thanks for reaching out to me about this. Unfortunately I’m at capacity at the moment, but I’d be happy to schedule a quick chat to make a plan for how you might best be able to complete your task.”

• “I’m unable to assist outside of usual office hours, but I really look forward to picking this up again when we speak next.”

⭐ 7. Create and Stick to a Structured Schedule

Tip: Having a well-structured schedule allows you to set limits on your time and energy - it’s a wonderful tool to fall back on, especially while we’re in unlearning and re-training territory! When you have clear work hours and personal time, it’s easier to say no to requests that fall outside of your boundaries. This also helps you maintain a sense of control over your workload and emotional energy. It also helps show you easily any high risk times of the day, settings or with which set of people that you may have an increased vulnerability to conceding a boundary.

Tool: Time Blocking System – Use a time-blocking method to structure your workday. Include time for client appointments, administrative tasks, team meetings, personal breaks, and self-care. Stick to this schedule as much as possible to honour both your professional and personal boundaries. Want the level up option? Block your time…. around your value-driven activities and schedule them from a top down prioritisation. Woah!

⭐ 8. Develop Support Systems and Accountability

Tip: Overcoming guilt and establishing boundaries is easier when you have support. Seek out suitable mentors, peers, or colleagues who can encourage you and help keep you accountable to your boundaries. Discuss your challenges and successes with them to gain perspective and encouragement.

Tool: Accountability Partner or Group– Partner with a colleague or join a support group where you can share your struggles with boundary-setting and receive guidance, validation, acceptance and non-judgement. We know it’s hard, that’s why it’s one of the most common results and the reason behind designing this quiz! This can help you stay accountable and remind you that you are not alone in this process.

⭐ 9. Celebrate Small Wins and Reflect on Your Growth

Tip: Acknowledge your progress, even if it feels small. Overcoming guilt-driven behaviors takes time, and every time you successfully set a boundary, celebrate that as a victory. Because it is. It’s a huge step in the direction of a more balanced, sustainable life and career. Reflection and self-compassion help reinforce your growth and remind you of the positive changes you are making. And WHY you’re going to the big efforts of making it!

Tool: Progress Journal – Keep a journal to track moments when you set boundaries, especially those that were difficult. Write down how it felt, how the other person responded, and any positive outcomes. Reflect on your growth over time and give yourself credit for your progress.

Final Thoughts

Overcoming the Guilt-Driven Caregiver mindset requires a shift from feeling responsible for others’ emotions to recognising that healthy boundaries are essential for both your well-being and the long-term effectiveness of your work. By prioritizing self-care, reframing guilt, setting compassionate boundaries, and seeking support, you can create a sustainable and fulfilling practice that benefits both you, your clients, your team/workplace and even your home life. Remember, healthy boundaries are an act of care for yourself and others!

Where To From Here?

Book a Free Consultation: Would you like to explore personalised strategies and dive even deeper into mastering your mindset barriers? Book a FREE 15 minute consultation with our therapists today.

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Therapy / Supervision Cards: Grab your box set of The Connection Cards - The 52-Week Authentic Worker Reset to help provide you with a year’s supply of critical self reflection questions and action steps. By reflecting on the cards as another introspective tool, you will advance your self development and growth, and be LAUNCHING your way to healthier boundaries, more fulfilling and sustainable careers and more nourishing home relationships and life.

Share & Grow: Forward the QUIZ to someone in your life (personal or professional) who could also benefit from learning about their mindset barriers to better boundaries. If you’re also passionate about creating a stronger, healthier, more boundaried workforce, then we need more people to be actively creating more balanced choices and lives. It’s for our wellbeing AND our clients’ wellbeing. We are stronger together.

Celebrate The Wins: Get some wins under your belt and tell us about them! We are here to laugh, cry and support you along the way. Sharing the attempts and stumbles we make along the way is all part of the fun of growing, changing and doing things differently! Share them on our Facebook page or join us on TikTok.

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Accuracy, Transparency and Limitations: Our quiz results, while based on evidence based therapeutic practice, do not substitute for personalised medical or treatment advice. They do not serve as clinical diagnoses or treatment, but as insightful tools for general guidance to assist you to take first steps in understanding some of your hidden barriers better.