Burnout, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Or is it..?
Burnout is traditionally associated with people’s workplaces or careers. It can be found in any industry, it does not discriminate. However, burnout can also be found in other types of careers or domains. This can include the stay-at-home career (aka parenting career), the social / friend or other relational domain, and social media burnout.
As you can likely imagine, some of the complicating factors that this extreme stress response are linked to, include traditional social and/or gender pressures and expectations. I hear people say “I’m a people pleaser”, “I have trouble saying no”, “I’m independent”, “I have trouble asking for help”. Others are linked to addictive behaviours and patterns, such as being addicted to success, money, image, praise or busy-ness, or being a workaholic. This begins to touch on some of the threads of underlying causes to burnout, including avoidance, trauma wounds, low self-worth, attachment styles and numerous more, which we’ll get into in another post.
In the most real and basic sense, burnout is a feeling of “why bother”, hopelessness and of there being nothing left in the tank to give [to others or self]. Early warning signs and red flags are heard in “I’m running on empty”, “It takes me longer to switch off these days”, and “I’m not recovering as fast as I used to”, not to mention the physical body’s messages.
Once you’ve realised, through your own or a professional’s insight that you are experiencing burnout and have started to accept some interventions and support, you might find there’s room for a very small glimmer of hope. The window has been cracked open ever so slightly. But how could anything good come from this awful feeling and experience? Let’s find out.
You get real clear on what matters. You become profoundly aware of all things related to wellness. You might even have some existential moments of reflection. You might even be thinking about time as a finite resource, and perhaps that scares the hell out of you, but in a healthy and motivating way.
You give less fucks. You don’t have to be rude about it. You can give less fucks and still be a kind, warm, thoughtful person. You just don’t take any shit anymore and don’t sacrifice yourself for someone or something else’s values. See point 1.
Your confidence increases. Your are not afraid to speak up, especially when it comes to standing up for yourself, yours and others’ wellness and your values - see point 1.
You get more enjoyment out of life. Gratitude leads to happiness, this is no surprise. You are happier. You are choosing minute by minute activities that you know fulfil you in some way - see point 1.
You have more compassion. You get it. You know what it’s like to hit rock bottom. To struggle. To not feel like yourself. To be told to have forced rest, to make changes. You can empathise more with others and perhaps see it in them before they do, and take an opportunity to gently offer them an “I’ve been there, friend” hand.
You grow. You become an evolved being. Perhaps even one heading towards self-actualisation. Maybe. Maybe you commit to yourself and those who love you that you will do everything in your power not to return to ‘that’ place or ‘those’ feelings. You learn and you grow. We never grow from comfort.
You make changes, take risks and have adventures. While painful, burnout can be a catalyst for making the hard decisions that we tend to avoid in our ordinary lives.
If you find yourself teetering on the edge of burnout, here are three strategies you can use to avoid the risks of burning out and experience more of its potential benefits:
1. Let go of the illusion of control.
Ultimately, we have only a small amount of control over the things that matter most: our career, health, thoughts, sensations, and future achievements. While this might be grim for some, it can also be an empowering, soothing and liberating catalyst to let go of the steering wheel of life. Paradoxically, this can lead to a more fulfilling and happier life.
2. Question the idea that burnout is bad.
You have the opportunity to let go of the conventional notion that "burnout is bad”. This narrative reinforces feelings of shame, hopelessness, and anxiety. So instead of focusing on the "bad" of burnout or what you think this means about you or your reputation, be open to the possibility of transformation it could bring instead. Burnout can be the first step to an even bigger, unexpected and unforeseen win!
3. Exercise discriminating wisdom.
Burnout can ignite the fire of change. This surge of motivation can lead some to make impulsive decisions that might not be in your long-term best interest. So it's worth treating major, life-changing, decisions with care. And often seeking trusted or professional counsel or spending quality time reconnecting with your values and instincts. If you truly have dreamed of packing up and living in Tuscany, then spend a little more time with it. Give yourself time to make sure any life-changing decisions truly are in your long-term best interest. You owe yourself that much respect.
The fine print: Burnout can have serious consequences, and it's not to be taken lightly. The paralysing effect of burnout in depression, anxiety and shame, are certainly not meant to be taken lightly. The point here is simply this: if you find yourself in the situation of burning out, challenge the "burnout is bad" or “I can’t cope and therefore I’m a failure or not good enough” story and to remember that this intense emotional journey has the power to positively transform your life and your career.
