Reverse Engineering Change!

How to Unstuck Yourself from a Life That Feels Like a Broken Record

We’ve all been there—stuck in the kind of routine that feels like you’ve been put on repeat, with every day looking like a carbon copy of the one before it. You’ve got that sinking feeling, like you’ve been living in a “skip intro” button for your own life. It’s not that things are terrible, but they’re certainly not great. You’re going through the motions, but the spark, the zing, is nowhere to be found.

If this resonates with you, here’s the good news: Change doesn’t need to feel like climbing Everest. You don’t need a 10-step transformation plan or a lengthy self-help book that promises to “unlock your potential.” Instead, it’s time to reverse-engineer change. Yes, you heard that right: reverse engineering your life. It’s about taking apart what’s not working and reassembling it with intention—like reassembling a puzzle you didn’t know you had all the pieces to.

So, how do you break free from this cycle and make some real, lasting change? Let’s get creative and go beyond the usual “try something new every week” advice.

Step 1: Zoom Out (But Not Too Much)

Before you run to Pinterest for some inspirational quotes or sign up for a last-minute yoga retreat (don’t get me wrong, yoga retreats are great), let's take a step back. The first thing you need to do is zoom out from the day-to-day grind and ask yourself the big question: What do I actually want?

But here’s the trick—don’t go all “vision board, life plan” on yourself just yet. Start small. Focus on one area that feels stagnant. Is it your career? Your relationships? Your health? Instead of attempting to overhaul everything (which, spoiler alert, won’t work), focus on one thing. Just one.

Once you’ve chosen your target, zoom in. Break it down into the smallest, most microscopic pieces possible. And I mean tiny. Want a better job? Don’t start by thinking about the perfect office chair or what your business card will look like. Instead, maybe you need to update your LinkedIn profile picture or reach out to one person in your network. The key here is to avoid getting overwhelmed by the big picture—focus on the small, simple steps that will set the foundation for the change you seek.

Step 2: Throw Out the Rule Book

Here's where things get fun. Forget what you think you should be doing. Let’s say you're trying to lose weight—everyone’s probably told you to “eat healthy and exercise more.” But what if you don’t do that? What if you add more dancing into your day, or eat whatever you want for one meal, and see what happens? Or—wild thought—what if you schedule your mistakes? Yes, you heard me. If you’re stuck in a rut, maybe you’re just playing it too safe, trying to follow the rules that others set for you.

Instead, flip the script. If you feel “stuck,” it might be because you’ve been following the same playbook everyone else is using. So, challenge yourself to do the opposite of what everyone expects from you. Skeptical? Good, that’s exactly what we want.

The goal here isn’t to rebel for the sake of rebellion, but to shake up your normal routine and disrupt the autopilot. Shake things up in ways that feel non-traditional to you. It's not about abandoning structure, but rather reimagining how you can approach your life and goals in unexpected ways.

Step 3: Fail Faster

Look, no one really enjoys failure (unless you're one of those weird people who collects “failure” like rare trading cards). But here’s the deal: The faster you fail, the faster you learn. Think of it like speed dating for life changes—you’ve got to test out different paths, see what works, and be okay with getting it wrong a few times.

And this is where the magic happens: By allowing yourself to fail (and yes, embracing it as part of the process), you eliminate the fear of failing in the first place. Instead of a “what if I mess up?” mentality, you get to adopt a “let’s see what happens if I try this?” mindset. The quicker you can test, fail, and iterate, the quicker you can turn things around.

Remember, you're not in a race—you're creating a series of experiments. The goal is progress, not perfection.

Step 4: Put on Your Mad Scientist Hat

It’s time to get wildly creative with how you approach change. Here’s a rule: If you’re not having fun while trying to break out of the stuck zone, then you’re doing it wrong. Change doesn’t need to feel like dragging yourself through a mud pit of discomfort—let it be an experiment, and one that involves some playful curiosity.

Want to mix things up? Design your own 30-day “weird” experiment. Pick something small, like taking cold showers for a week or writing a daily letter to yourself (spoiler: it’s actually fun), and see how it shifts your perspective. The goal here is to throw out the traditional “life-changing” routines and create something that feels uniquely yours.

Maybe you’ve been told to meditate for 10 minutes every morning. Cool idea, but it’s probably not going to ignite any fire in you if you’re not into it. What if, instead, you started your morning by playing a song that makes you want to dance around in your pajamas? It’s about creating a new, unexpected routine—something that will genuinely break your habits and wake you up from the autopilot life you’ve been living.

Step 5: Connect the Dots, and Then Make a Mess

Once you start taking small steps and experimenting with new approaches, you’ll start to notice patterns. Maybe you find that after every small win, you feel more confident about making a big leap. Or perhaps the “failures” you encounter show you that there’s something about your goals that needs to be reworked.

Now, connect those dots and turn them into a roadmap of progress. But, don’t be afraid to throw the map out if it doesn’t make sense or if a new opportunity arises. The idea is to build momentum and keep reengineering your life until it feels more aligned with what you truly want—without needing to follow any blueprint but your own.

Keep Your Eyes on the Prize, But Don't Be Afraid to Tinker.

So, what’s the takeaway here? If you’re stuck in your life, it’s time to reverse-engineer the change you want to see. Stop overthinking the big picture, forget about the rules, and experiment with smaller, unconventional steps that let you break free. Fail fast, have fun, and get creative with your approach. Remember, the journey to change doesn’t have to be linear, and it certainly doesn’t need to be boring.

Take that first step—no matter how small—and let yourself be your own mad scientist. Trust that, in the end, you’ll create the kind of life you actually want to live. Just make sure to enjoy the process along the way.